Hooked On A Feeling
by effyrodriguez
Summary: Takes place after Ste and John Paul's first kiss. Ste believes that the kiss meant something while John Paul refuses to believe such a thing. Ste thinks that he's not perfect enough for John Paul and goes to drastic measures to get John Paul's attention. (eating disorder).
1. Chapter 1

December 20, 2013

**John Paul**: Let's just forget this happened.

**Ste**: How can you carry on as if nothing happened?

**John Paul**: Cause nothing did happen Ste. It was just a kiss.

**Ste**: So you can go and kiss someone and it means nothing to you?

**John Paul**: I know it seems harsh but yeah.

**Ste**: Well it meant something to me.

**John Paul**: I'm with Danny.

**Ste**: If you're with him why did you kiss me?

**John Paul**: I was confiding in you and at the time it seemed right.

**Ste**: So it's back to whatever we were before?

**John Paul**: Yeah I guess. We were never going to be anything Ste. **(pauses.)** I better get going.

**John Paul jumps off the counter table and makes his way out the door while Ste watches his every move and looks onward once John Paul is out of sight.**

**Ste**: **(Why would he want me? All I ever do is destroy everything I care about. My life is worth nothing and I'm just a mistake. My luck has run out and the only way to get it back is to show John Paul that I'm not weak.)**

December 24, 2013

**Peri**: Are you alright?

**Ste**: I'm fine.

**Peri**: Are you sure? I may not know a lot about relationships but I do know that whatever you two were fighting about must of been serious.

**Ste**: It's fine Pez. We just weren't meant to be.

**Peri**: You can't just give up on him.

**Ste**: I'm done talking about this.

**Peri**: Fine I'll fix it.

**Ste**: No Peri. You'll just make things worse.

**Peri**: How can things get any worse?

**Ste**: I'm going to bed.

**Peri**: You just woke up.

**Ste**: I can do whatever I want. And I'm serious Pez. don't do anything stupid.

**Peri**: I won't I swear.

**Ste**: Good.

**Peri sees that Ste left his phone on the table and she messages John Paul to meet her at the pub. Once she sends the text she grabs her coat and heads toward the pub. John Paul is sitting in the far corner and Peri makes her way over to the table.**

**Peri**: You need to fix this.

**John Paul**: What are you talking about?

**Peri**: You and Ste.

**John Paul**: You sent the text?

**Peri**: Yeah cause Ste has been miserable since you two broke up.

**John Paul**: We were never together.

**Peri**: He does like you, you know.

**John Paul**: You can't just force me to go out with him.

**Peri**: At least talk to him.

**John Paul**: I will now can you please leave me alone?

**Peri**: Not until you pinky swear.

**John Paul**: I can't believe this is happening.

**Peri**: Stop being a baby and just do it.

**John Paul**: Alright, alright.** (John Paul wraps his pinky around hers all the while rolling his eyes.)** You happy now.

**Peri**: Very.

January 14, 2014

**Ste is leaning against the brick wall trying to catch his breath while Sinead sees him in such a state and decides to confront him about it.**

**Sinead**: You okay there Ste?

**Ste**: Yeah I'm fine just a dizzy spell.

**Sinead**: Just a dizzy spell, how long have you been having those?

**Ste**: Not long. What are you doing here anyways?

**Sinead**: Uh, this is a general area where people pass by Ste and last time I checked there were no rules on where I can and can not go.

**Ste**: Sorry Sinead it's just that…

**Sinead**: What?

**Ste**: Nothing I should get going. **(Ste tries to get away but his knees start to give out and the only thing that stops him from falling is Sinead.)**

**Sinead**: You need to see a doctor.

**Ste**: No I'm fine I just overworked myself that's all.

**Sinead**: That's all… you look like you're about to pass out. What are you doing anyways running out in the cold?

**Ste**: I just need to clear my head.

**Sinead**: Well you could do that at the pub.

**Ste**: Can you just drop it? I told you I'm fine. You don't need to be on my case.

**Sinead**: Okay, okay. No need to be a diva about it. Just relax.

**Ste**: I'm trying but you won't keep your mouth shut.

**Sinead**: Fine I'll go.

**Ste**: Stay…I'm sorry it's just I have a lot on my mind.

**Sinead**: I can tell. How about we have a movie night with the girls back at the flat?

**Ste**: What about Katie?

**Sinead**: She can come too can't she?

**Ste**: Of course I was just…never mind.

January 20, 2014

**The Lomaxes start to get worried about Ste once they notice that he hasn't been eating with them. Danny and Sam practically force Ste to eat with them and though he eats very little he still feels guilty about it and decides to get rid of it once they've gone to work. Once they leave Ste runs to the bathroom to get rid of the guilt when there's a knock at the door.**

**Leela**: Ste I need to get in there.

**Ste**: Just a minute. **(Ste hesitates whether to open the door or not wondering if she heard him puking. He decides to open it and Leela stands there with a worried expression on her face. )**

**Leela**: You okay?

**Ste**: Yeah just feeling a bit nauseous.

**Leela**: Well I won't be too long and afterwards we can go to the hospital.

**Ste**: Seriously Leela there's no need I just probably ate too fast.

**Leela**: Alright but if you're still feeling ill later on we're going to the hospital.

**Ste**: Ok. **(I just have to be more careful.)**


	2. Chapter 2

January 26, 2014

**John Paul**: Can I talk to you?

**Ste**: Well you're already talking to me so what do you want?

**John Paul**: It's just that Danny's worried about you. He says you haven't been eating.

**Ste**: Well he's wrong. I do eat.

**John Paul**: Ste I know we haven't been talking since our kiss but you can trust me.

**Ste**: Oh so now you want to be apart of my life right, since Danny is concerned.

**John Paul**: This has nothing to do with Danny. The truth is I've been worried about you and I'm sorry for putting you through all this pain.

**Ste**: It's not your fault though it's my dad's. And I'm sorry too.

**John Paul**: What are you sorry for?

**Ste**: Everything... I mean I haven't exactly been nice to you ever since we've known each other. I've been acting like a spoiled brat.

**John Paul**: Do you want to grab some coffee or something?

**Ste**: Sure, why not.

**Ste and John Paul walk in silence neither of them knowing what to say after Ste's apology.**

**Ste**: You're wrong about us.

**John Paul**: What are you talking about?

**Ste**: When you said that we haven't been talking since our kiss…we barely even spoke before then.

**John Paul**: I'm just saying that you've been quiet these past few weeks.

**Ste**: I'm not avoiding you if that's what you're thinking.

**John Paul**: Not it's not that…it's just...

**Ste**: What is it then?

**John Paul**: Nothing just forget it.

January 27, 2014

**Ste is staring at the duffle bag on the couch when Danny walks in.**

**Ste**: I'm moving out.

**Danny**: Well if that's what you think is best I respect your decision.

**Ste**: I don't want to it's just that I can't stand living here anymore knowing what I know.

**Danny**: It never bothered you before.

**Ste**: It always bothered me but I thought I could handle it and be able to have a proper family. I know now that I can't stand by and watch you play father of the year.

**Danny**: If John Paul said something...

**Ste**: This has nothing to do with him. This is about you Danny.

**Danny**: Ste...

**Ste**: I know your heart is breaking Danny and I'd hate to see you and everyone around you get hurt once the truth is out. I'm sorry but nothing is going to change my mind.

January 29, 2014

**Ste and Sinead are sitting on the couches of the boarding house while Sinead is combing Ste's hair.**

**Sinead**: Feeling any better?

**Ste**: Not really.

**Sinead**: Who needs them anyways, right. At least you got me.

**Ste**: Yeah but there's another reason I left.

**Sinead**: And what's that?

**Ste**: I think I'm falling for John Paul.

**Sinead**: Ste it was one kiss

**Ste**: It's more than that.

**Sinead**: Uh, John Paul is the last person you should be with right now.

**Ste**: Why's that?

**Sinead**: He slept with both of your exes and your dad.

**Ste**: It doesn't matter to me.

**Sinead**: I think it does. Is that the reason you want to be with him?

**Ste**: What are you going on about?

**Sinead**: You want to be with John Paul cause it brings you closer to them.

**Ste**: Now you've really lost it.

**Sinead**: But it makes sense.

**Ste**: Well you're wrong.

**Sinead**: It's the most logical reason Ste. Tell me how can you love someone when you've hated them all your life?

**Ste**: I never hated John Paul. We just had our differences.

**Sinead**: Why can't you look me in the eye and say that?

**Ste**: Just drop it, okay?

**Sinead**: Fine but you know I'm right.

February 1, 2014

**Ste is standing in front of the mirror disgusted by himself since he can still see the fat hanging off of his body. While Ste is pinching the skin around his abdomen Sinead walks in.**

**Sinead**: Ste I need help on what to….Ste? **(Ste pulls his shirt back down but not before Sinead sees the rib bones poking out of his skin. Ste sees a look of horror on her face and thinks it's because she's disgusted by how fat he is.)**

**Ste**: Get out! **(Sinead rushes out the door and Ste slams the door shut. Sinead makes her way up the stairs but pauses on the last step still in shock from what she saw. As the shock finally settles in she places her hands over her mouth and bursts out crying while using her other hand to hang on to the railing for support.) **

* * *

**Sinead approaches the Lomaxes's flat hesitant on whether she should knock on the door or not. As she is about to knock Leela opens the door and Sinead just stands there with her hand still in a fist.**

**Leela**: What are you doing here?

**Sinead**: I…

**Leela**: **(Leela notices how tense Sinead is.)** Come on in.

**Sinead**: It's Ste.

**Leela**: I figured.

**Sinead**: He…he's not right.

**Leela**: What do you mean?**(Sinead stares at the door.)** Sinead?

**Sinead**: You should of seen him.

**Leela**: You're scaring me Sinead. What's wrong with Ste? Is he alright?

**Sinead**: No, I don't think he is.

February 3, 2014

**Leela**: We're going to the hospital.

**Ste**: Leela I told you I'm fine.

**Leela**: You're not, alright. Sinead told me.

**Ste**: She doesn't know what she's saying.

**Leela**: Lift up your shirt.

**Ste**: What?

**Leela**: Just do it Ste or I'll do it for you. **(Ste doesn't budge and when Leela goes to lift his shirt Ste pushes her away.)**

**Ste:** Don't touch me!

**Leela**: Ste I'm just trying to help you.

**Ste**: Just leave.

**Leela**: I'm not going to leave you Ste, not now. **(Leela moves toward Ste and Ste steps backward until he's against the wall.) **I'm not going to hurt you Ste. **(Ste slides down and starts rocking back and forth covering his ears with his hands.) **Ste? **(Leela reaches forward to touch his arm and Ste starts kicking and screaming about. Leela backs away and Peri walks in.)**

**Peri**: Ste! **(Peri rushes toward him but Leela holds her back.)** What's wrong with him?

**Leela**: Ring an ambulance. **(Peri grabs her phone from her pocket her hands shaking and the phone falls to the floor. The screen shatters but she still manages to get through to the hospital.)**

February 4, 2014

**Lindsey**: Good to see you're awake.

**Ste**: Where am I?

**Lindsey**: You're in hospital Ste. Do you remember what happened? **(Ste shakes his head.)** You gave your folks quite a scare. You had a seizure. **(Ste remains quiet.)** You're not going to ask me why or how?

**Ste**: How?

**Lindsey**: It was caused by a severe imbalance in your blood chemistry. Have you been eating properly at home?

**Ste**: Yes.

**Lindsey**: Ste the only way I can help you is if you tell the truth.

**Ste**: I haven't been eating.

**Lindsey**: Why's that?

**Ste**: I don't know.

**Lindsey**: Yes you do. **(Lindsey places her hand on Ste's arm.)** You can trust me.

**Ste**: That's what John Paul said.

**Lindsey**: Is that why you're doing this, you don't think you're good enough for him?

**Ste**: You don't know anything about me, alright.

**Lindsey**: I know that Ste. I'm just trying to figure out why you're starving yourself.

**Ste**: I told you I don't know.

**Lindsey**: Well I think that's enough questions for today.

**Ste**: Can I leave now?

**Lindsey**: Ste I'm sorry but it's not that easy. You almost died.

**Ste**: But I didn't so.

**Lindsey**: We have to keep you here under watch. Make sure you're getting enough nutrients.

**Ste**: Well you're wasting your time.

**Lindsey**: Ste...

**Ste**: I'm perfectly fine I don't see what the problem is. **(Ste starts moving uncontrollably and the other nurses and doctors go to restrain him while Lindsey gives him a sedative.)**

* * *

** Ste opens his eyes to see John Paul sleeping in a chair by his bedside. Ste tries to move but grunts in pain and John Paul wakes up.**

**John Paul**: You're awake.** (Ste just nods his head and John Paul notices Ste's discomfort.)** Here let me help you. **(John Paul reaches over behind Ste's head and shifts the pillows.)**

**Ste**: Thanks.

**John Paul**: How are you feeling?

**Ste**: Alright I guess.

**John Paul**: I was worried you know when Danny told me what happened.

**Ste**: Why are you here?

**John Paul**: I wanted to see you.** (Ste gives John Paul a puzzled look.) **I broke it off with Danny.

**Ste**: Why?

**John Paul**: I was lying when I said that I didn't feel any different after our kiss. I do feel something for you Ste. I don't know exactly what it is but something is there. **(Ste just gives him a small smile.)**

* * *

**Lindsey**: Can I talk to you for a second?

**John Paul**: Sure, what about?

**Lindsey**: Did you say something that might of triggered Ste to think that...

**John Paul**: That what?

**Lindsey**: That he's not good enough for you?

**John Paul**: Of course not. Did he say something about me?

**Lindsey**: He just said something about you telling him that it's okay to trust you.

**John Paul**: That's all.

**Lindsey**: Yes.

**John Paul**: Is Danny right about Ste? Does he have an eating disorder?

**Lindsey**: I'm sorry John Paul but I can't give that information to you unless you're family.

**John Paul**: It's alright. I should get going but I'll be back to check up on him.

**Lindsey**: Sounds like a good idea.

* * *

**Leela**: Is he going to be alright?

**Lindsey**: It's hard to say. He's in denial which is quite common with anorexic patients. He'll need all the support though. That's the only way he'll get through this.

**Leela**: Don't you worry I'm not going to let him out of my sight.


	3. Chapter 3

February 6, 2014

**Peri**: So did you and John Paul get back together?

**Ste**: Peri we were never together.

**Peri**: So if you guys weren't together, why was he here the other day?

**Ste**: He just wanted to make sure I was okay. **(Peri gives him a look.)** We're just mates.

**Peri**: What aren't you telling me?

**Ste**: Nothing. Can we just forget about John Paul?

**Peri**: You're hiding something from me and if you don't tell me I'll ask John Paul.

**Ste**: It's not my secret to tell.

**Peri**: Is that why he came? Make sure you keep your mouth shut?

**Ste**: Peri just drop it.

**Peri**: Fine.

**Ste**: Everything okay at home?

**Peri**: Why would you care?

**Ste**: Just cause I left the flat doesn't mean I don't want to be apart of this family.

**Peri**: It's more than that Ste. I'm not even allowed to visit you and Sinead.

**Ste**: What are you talking about?

**Peri**: Dad told us that we aren't allowed to come see you.

**Ste**: Dad's been keeping you away from me?

**Per**i: That's what I just said.

**Ste**: Why?

**Peri**: I don't know. He won't tell us. For a while I thought it was you who didn't want to see us and that he was just covering for you.

**Ste**: And now?

**Peri**: Ste you're my brother and I know things haven't been great but I also know that you wouldn't abandon us.

**Ste**: Tell you what, if you really want to know about John Paul's secret just ask dad.

**Peri**: Dad knows about John Paul's secret?

**Ste**: Yes. But don't tell dad that I told you.

**Peri**: I won't.

* * *

**Ste**: So you finally got the guts to face your own son.

**Danny**: Ste it's not like that.

**Ste**: Sam even came to visit me before you. What kind of father are you?

**Danny**: I know that I should of been here when you were first admitted but I was busy with school. **(Ste rolls his eyes.)** At least I'm here now.

**Ste**: Just more excuses right. I know you didn't want to see me because of John Paul.

**Danny**: I told you I had a lot of catching up to do at school. Just ask Patrick if you don't believe me.

**Ste**: Tell me, if John Paul works at the same place you do how is it that he was able to get out of work but you couldn't?

**Danny**: I don't know.

**Ste**: Maybe he was able to charm his way out like he did with you.

**Danny**: Ste this isn't the time or place to talk about this.

**Ste**: I'm actually surprised that he would even fall for someone like you.

**Danny**: Ste…

**Ste**: I'm not finished yet. John Paul doesn't realize what he's done. He basically steered himself from harm's way. I mean you were bound to cheat on him anyways right. You were even willing to sleep with your own son. Though imagine if it wasn't me, how you would've felt if you slept with some random bloke.

**Danny**: Steven that's enough!

**Ste**: And another thing. How did you think that keeping your own children from seeing their brother was going to fix anything? You're just making things worse for yourself.

**Danny**: I hate you.

**Ste**: No, you don't hate me. You hate yourself. Everything I just said is the truth and you are just too stubborn to admit it.**(Ste lets his gaze roam around the room while he starts gasping for air and wipes off the sweat that has started to form on his forehead.)**

**Danny**: I...**(Danny notices Ste's unfocused gaze.)** Are you alright?

**Ste**: Yeah, it's just a bit hot in here.

**Danny**: You want me to get the nurse.

**Ste**: I told you I'm fine now can you please just get off my back! **(Ste has another fit.)**

**Danny**: **(Danny runs out of the room.) **Somebody please help us!** (The nurses rush into the room while Danny waits outside. John Paul rushes over to Danny.)**

**John Paul**: What's going on?

**Danny**: I don't know one minute we were just talking and the next he started to freak out. **(Lindsey comes out of the room and makes her way over to Danny.)** Is he going to be alright?

**Lindsey**: Yes, though I don't think it would be best to see him now. He had a panic attack that was followed by a seizure.

**Danny**: Is that even possible with his condition?

**Lindsey**: Panic attacks often follow the onset of an eating disorder. Also if the changes in the body are intense because of a panic attack it is likely that a seizure can happen but we are doing everything we can to help him. He just needs a good night's rest and he will be fine by tomorrow morning.

**Danny**: Well in that case I better get going. **(Danny makes his way out the hospital while Lindsey attends to other patients. John Paul decides to go and see Ste.)**

**John Paul**: Are you alright?

**Ste**: If someone says that to me one more time I think my head is going to explode. **(Ste tightens his grip on the sheets.)**

**John Paul**: Just relax Ste. I don't want you having another panic attack.

**Ste**: Lindsey's told you then?

**John Paul**: Yes and I was really worried.

**Ste**: Oh, well I'm fine now.

**John Paul:** Are you?

**Ste**: No.

**John Paul:** Do you want to talk about it?

**Ste**: Not really.

**John Paul**: Ste I know things have been hard for you but you'll get through this.

**Ste**: What if I can't?

**John Paul**: You can Ste. **(John Paul takes Ste's hands in his.)**

**Ste**: Don't touch me! **(John Paul lets go.)** Sorry.

**John Paul**: It's ok.

**Ste**: It's not ok. I can't even let people touch me because I feel disgusting and I even have to talk to a therapist about how I feel but the truth is I'm sick of being alone.

**John Paul**: If you want me to be at your side during your therapy session tomorrow, I'm there.

**Ste**: You're willing to sit through a three hour session knowing that I'll probably lie or just blabber on about the boring stuff in my life throughout those three hours.

**John Paul**: I don't even care if I have to sit through a session of complete silence. All I care about is you and making sure you get better.

* * *

February 7, 2014

**John Paul**: You want some water?

**Ste**: No. I'm alright.

**John Paul**: Are you sure? You're looking a bit pale.

**Ste**: John Paul I know I said that I wanted you to be here but now I'm starting to regret it. I'm stressed as it is.

**John Paul**: I'm sorry.

**Ste**: Don't be.

**John Paul**: Why don't we go down to the cafe and get some lunch while we wait?

**Ste**: I'm not hungry.

**John Paul**: Ste if you want to get better you have to eat.

**Ste**: I know. I just can't right now. **(Ste starts crying and John Paul wraps his arms around him.)** I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

**John Paul**:**(John Paul rubs Ste's back while Ste continues to cry.)** It's okay, that's good, just get it out. It's good to cry.


End file.
